Telemeeting details
| European webcall | |
| English (United Kingdom) | |
| Mixed - any sex addicts seeking recovery | |
| Yes | |
| Yes | |
| Video and audio | |
| Zoom ID 919-919-959 passcode 123456 | |
| Sunday 19:00 Europe/London | |
| 1 hour 30 minutes | |
| European_web_call_meeting.odt | |
| European_web_call_meeting.pdf | |
| European_web_call_meeting_portrait.pdf | |
| European_web_call_meeting_portrait.pptx | |
| Ongoing | |
Members may join via:
The conference will be open from fifteen minutes before to thirty minutes after the call. Alternate contacts:
The meeting is scheduled in UK time. The script is available below for you to follow and volunteer for a brief reading if you wish. AgendaApart from a prompt start and finish, times listed are approximate guidelines only:
Opening Serenity Prayer (19:00 prompt)Secretary: Please will you help me open the meeting with the Serenity Prayer, using the word 'God' as you do or do not understand it: All at will: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. Opening (about 19:01)Secretary: Welcome! This is the European Web Call Meeting of Sex Addicts Anonymous. S.A.A. is a fellowship of people who share our experience, strength and hope with each other so that we may stop our addictive sexual behaviour and help others to recover from sexual addiction and dependency. Membership is open to all who share a desire to stop our addictive sexual behaviour and are willing to try to follow this simple programme. The programme is based on the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, but we are not affiliated with A.A. or any other organisation or agency. We are not aligned with any religion, sect or denomination. Our only connection with the organisation that operates this service is that of a user of meeting space. This group is self-supporting from the voluntary contributions of our members. We receive no outside donations. There are no fees or dues. Members pay their own connection charges. You are free to contribute to our work as you see fit. This is not a place to meet sexual partners, nor is it group therapy. We try to listen respectfully to what others have to say and to share our own experience as it seems appropriate. We do not give advice. Literature including approved pamphlets and the Sex Addicts Anonymous Green Book is available from the Literature Secretary of the UK Intergroup through their website saauk.info and the International Service Organisation at saa-recovery.org . Anonymity is a cornerstone of the Twelve Step Programme. We use only our first names. Whatever our status or position outside of this group is not an issue here. Our common bond is our desire to stop our addictive sexual behaviour and to live sexually healthy lives. Whatever you hear in this space, let it stay here when you leave. We hope you will join in sharing the collective experience, strength and hope that is ours when we work the programme and trust our higher power to deliver the promises. If you are new or having a trying time, remember that others of us have been there too. Keep coming back! It works! (May I remind members to mute their microphone when they are not using it). How It Works (volunteer, about 19:02)Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. Remember that we deal with sexual addiction - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find God now! Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked God's protection and care with complete abandon. Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas: The Twelve Steps (volunteer, about 19:04)
The Twelve Traditions (volunteer, about 19:06)
Silence (about 19:08)Secretary: Please can we have a few moments silence in which to reflect on why we are here and to think of the still suffering addict. Sufficient silence for reflection and thinking - usually about 60 seconds. Secretary: Thank you. Group Introductions (about 19:09)Secretary: We now come to Group Introductions in which we each introduce ourselves by our first name only, any short description that might be appropriate and if we wish, our bottom lines and very briefly how we are feeling at this moment. Starting with the secretary each member in turn introduces themselves and the rest of the group responds by greeting them by their first name. This style of introduction and group greeting is used every time a member speaks during the meeting, except when reading. A Letter To Newcomers (about 19:10, only if newcomers are present)Secretary: Is there anyone here for whom this is their first SAA meeting so that I can read the welcome letter? Since this is (name(s)) first SAA meeting I will read the letter to newcomers: Dear [name(s)], Welcome to S.A.A.. When we came to our first meeting many of us were having a variety of feelings. We were relieved to have found a place where our pain and despair might be understood. We were angry that we had to get help and couldn’t manage this part of our lives. We felt lonely and were ashamed of our sexual history. We had secrets that we were reluctant to share. We were distrustful, guarded and frightened. We had been abused and we had abused others. We were sex addicts and needed help. The programme of S.A.A. is patterned after the Twelve Step Programme of Alcoholics Anonymous. Here we learn a new way of living. We learn, at our own pace, to experience intimacy and sharing with others in a healthy way. We learn to trust; to express our feelings; to ask for our needs to be met; to say _no_ when _no_ is appropriate; and to stay around when all we want to do is run. Here no one shames us for what we have done or are still doing. Here we have a safe harbour within which to heal, and for that we are grateful. The only requirement for membership in S.A.A. is a desire to stop compulsive sexual behaviours. It is a programme of progress, not perfection. If you are willing to be honest and have a desire to have and maintain healthy relationships, then you are in the right place. It is suggested that you attend at least six meetings before you decide whether the programme is for you. At your first meeting we encourage you to talk to others and exchange telephone numbers with those you relate to. We also suggest that you select a temporary sponsor to assist you in learning the basics. The selection process is easy: all you do is ask someone you relate to (to whom you are not sexually attracted) if they would be willing to be your temporary sponsor until you learn your way around. At a later date, after you have got to know us better, we suggest you choose a permanent sponsor or co-sponsor. Although anonymity is a core tradition on which the programme depends, you should be aware that some people may decide after careful thought to report certain disclosures to the authorities. If you find yourself feeling triggered by something someone shares, or has said during a meeting, please do not interrupt the meeting or the person speaking. Instead, please try to deal with it by trying the following: mute the line for a few minutes, say silently to yourself something like: "I am feeling triggered". Speak about it after the meeting in Fellowship, speak to your sponsor or another member of the group... but again, please do not interrupt the meeting or the person speaking. In addition to attending meetings and talking with others we suggest you read our primary text Sex Addicts Anonymous and the S.A.A. pamphlets available via Intergroup. We also recommend Hope and Recovery, Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes, Women, Sex and Addiction by Charlotte Kasl, the pamphlet A Special Welcome to the Woman Newcomer from other women members of SAA, and Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book). We are happy that you are here, for it is the newcomer that keeps S.A.A. alive and well. We encourage you to take it ONE DAY AT A TIME, BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF, and KEEP COMING BACK. Group Business (about 19:10, only if newcomers are present)Secretary: We now come to Group Business. If anyone has any business to bring before the group this is the time to do it. Would anyone able to act as a sponsor or co-sponsor please indicate by text now. Any member may introduce themselves again and bring business notices or queries before the meeting. Simple decisions may be decided by consensus within Group Business but more complex or important decisions must be deferred by consensus to a Group Conscience Meeting, which must take place immediately after a normal meeting with at least one week's notice. A group conscience may consider in rotation one of the questions from the ISO of SAA Group Guide. A list of group trusted servants has been pasted in, please consider volunteering for any suitable service. The only sobriety requirement for these positions is the ability to perform them with the loving support of the group. We encourage people of any gender to volunteer for service to help make this a safe and welcoming place for all (wait for each list to be posted in turn). Next our literature secretary will post in a set of links to helpful literature. The links can be helpful for both the newcomer and for those with more experience. We encourage people to explore those links. Next someone will post the list of contact information to members of this group. This contact information can be quite useful both when suffering or when simply wanting to connect. We never know when our calls are just what is needed for the other person. On the third meeting of the month a new secretary reasonably familiar with the meeting must be appointed for the following month. The secretary of the month is responsible for reading the script and for arranging readings and presentations. A host responsible for signing in as saawebcall with the technical skills and equipment needed to host the call effectively should also be appointed. A deputy secretary and deputy host must also be appointed. On the fifth meeting of the month the regular meeting will finish 15 minutes early for a regular 30 minute group conscience meeting. Secretary: If there is no further group business ... The Focus (about 19:15A focus can be pre-arranged with the secretary of the month, but by default the following types of focus are used each week of the month: First week - Step reading of the month Second week - Tools of the programme Third week - Main Share Fourth week - Tradition reading of the month Fifth week - Reading of the day Tools of the Programme (about 19:15, only if selected as this week's focus)Secretary: The Tools of the Programme. I will read aloud a non-exhaustive list of some tools which others have found useful. Members will then be invited to share for up to one minute on their use of these or any other tools:
Secretary: Members are invited to share for up to one minute - that's 60 seconds - on their use of these or any other tools. Introduction to First Step Presentation (about 19:15, only if selected as this week's focus)Secretary: (name), you are about to share with us your First Step. We acknowledge and affirm your courage in taking this step. We want to clarify some things about this experience for each of us. The primary purpose for you giving this formal first step presentation is to aid you in your programme of recovery. It need not be done to please the group, or gain status. There is no right or wrong way to give a First Step. Any effort you make is legitimate. Here are some suggestions which others who have gone before have found helpful. We encourage you to be specific about your behaviours and to speak from your heart in order for you to be in touch with the pain and reality of your addiction. Try not to bury yourself in shame. Let us hear you, not your addict speaking. The group has a responsibility to be loving, caring and accepting of you. The members will avoid judging you, giving advice to you or "taking care" of you. If you wish you may request that no one interrupt you during your presentation. However, several members have affirmed that on reflection such interruptions have helped to guide them and to make the First Step experience more meaningful. Regardless of your choice in this matter, if you have not finished your presentation by then, I will let you know when 15 minutes of our meeting time remains. This will allow you a few minutes to complete your presentation and allow time for members to share what it was like being with you through this process. If you do not finish you may have more time next week. Remember, we are here for you! May God grant you serenity. General Sharing (about 19:25, not for First Step Presentations)Secretary: We now come to General Sharing. Please be aware of the time, so that all members may get a chance to share. Try, if you can, to keep your sharing to within three to five minutes. We encourage you to bring into the light of the meeting those behaviours and experiences which cause you shame; to deprive them of their power which is in their secrecy. Please however, in your use of language, be sensitive to the safety of others. Please, also, avoid naming specific places, publications, broadcasts or services. We do not have to check in if we don't want to. We do not interrupt each other, and we do not ask questions or engage in discussion. This month, we are focusing on step x, which is…. (read the step of the month). If you are able to share on your experience of working this month’s step, then we would appreciate hearing from you. Please, however, share as you need to. You do not have to share on any particular topic. We each need to be aware of the time, so that every member of the group has time to share, and to receive feed-back if they want it. Feedback is usually given after the meeting. The time is now (time) and General Sharing will finish at 25 past (or 10 past if a Group Conscience is scheduled). Please introduce yourself if you wish to share. The meeting is open. The following advice may be pasted in by text if necessary: If you find yourself feeling triggered by something someone shares, or has said during a meeting, please do not interrupt the meeting or the person speaking. Instead, please try to deal with it by trying the following: mute the line for a few minutes, say silently to yourself something like: "I am feeling triggered". Speak about it after the meeting in Fellowship, speak to your sponsor or another member of the group... but again, please do not interrupt the meeting or the person speaking. About 20:15 There are 10 minutes left for general sharing. Please consider sharing now if you have not shared recently or have difficulty sharing Personal Responses (by 20:20, for First Step Presentations only)Secretary: Thank you (name) for sharing your First Step. We now come to Personal Responses. Group members share about what it was like being with you as you presented your First Step. This is effectively a form of feedback, though they may want to identify with you by reference to their own experience. The meeting is now open. The Seventh Tradition (about 20:25)Secretary: We now come to the Seventh Tradition. May I remind everyone of the Seventh Tradition, that is, that every S.A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. Members pay their own connection charges and we use the conference service paid for by the Telemeeting Intergroup. If you can afford to give a little extra, then donations to the UK Intergroup at saauk.info or the Telemeeting Intergroup at saatalk.org will help all of us in our recovery. Members can donate via: The Promises (volunteer, about 20:26)If we are painstaking about this phase of our development we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone we will see how our experiences can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realise that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? All at will: We think not. Volunteer: They are being fulfilled among us: sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialise if we work for them. Closing (about 20:28, or 20:13 if Group Conscience)Secretary: For First Step Presentations only: May I remind all members that a First Step can bring up a lot of feelings, both for the person giving their First Step and for other members. These feelings may come up during the course of the following few days. For all meetings: In closing: The opinions expressed here tonight were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. The things that you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room and the confines of your mind. Remember that anonymity is a core tradition on which the programme depends. Whatever problems you have, there are those among us who have had them too. If you keep an open mind, you will find help. Let us talk to one another and reason things out but let us not gossip or criticise each other. Instead let the understanding, love and peace of the programme grow in each of us one day at a time. Please feel free to stay on the line for an informal chat and a virtual cup of coffee after the meeting. Will you join me in the closing serenity prayer, standing and holding hands metaphorically if you wish, using the word God as you understand it. All at will: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. All at will: Keep coming back, it works if you work it - so work it, you're worth it! Group Conscience Serenity Prayer (about 20:15 if scheduled)Secretary: Please will you help me open our Group Conscience with the Serenity Prayer, using the word 'God' as you do or do not understand it: All at will: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. Opening a Group Conscience (about 20:16 if scheduled)Secretary: Welcome! This is the Group Conscience of the European Web Call Meeting of Sex Addicts Anonymous. A Group Conscience is a special decision-making meeting for the group to consider an issue that it is felt requires more time than could be given during the regular meeting. This Group Conscience was called to consider [describe briefly the reason for the Group Conscience] Decisions are by unanimous agreement. We have scheduled a maximum of 30 minutes for this Group Conscience. If we have not reached an agreement by a quarter to we can schedule another Group Conscience. In any case I will summarise any decisions and progress made and record them in the meeting notes. The Twelve Traditions (volunteer, about 20:18 if a Group Conscience is scheduled)
Group Conscience Discussion (about 20:20 if a Group Conscience is scheduled)Secretary: The Group Conscience is open for discussion. Please introduce your contributions by your first name and any short description that might be appropriate. Closing a Group Conscience Discussion (by 20:45 if scheduled)Secretary: either: This Group Conscience has decided [briefly describe the group decision] or: Unfortunately the group has indicated that this question needs more time but the time scheduled for this Group Conscience is up. Any member may call for another Group Conscience if further discussion is required. We must close now but we have made the following progress [briefly describe progress made] in any case: In closing: The opinions expressed here tonight were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. The things that you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room and the confines of your mind. Remember that anonymity is a core tradition on which the programme depends. Whatever problems you have, there are those among us who have had them too. If you keep an open mind, you will find help. Let us talk to one another and reason things out but let us not gossip or criticise each other. Instead let the understanding, love and peace of the programme grow in each of us one day at a time. Please feel free to stay on the line for an informal chat and a virtual cup of coffee after the meeting. Will you join me in the closing serenity prayer, standing and holding hands metaphorically if you wish, using the word God as you understand it. All at will: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. All at will: Keep coming back, it works if you work it - so work it, you're worth it! A note for secretariesThis structure for a web call meeting of Sex Addicts Anonymous was originally based on the structure of the European telephone meeting. It was amended today in line with a group conscience to keep the same format with only minor adjustments to take account of the different venue. The meeting is registered with the UK Intergroup with the following details: Meeting type: Closed, Mixed Time: Sundays 19:00 - 20:30 UK time Access: Send a Skype text to SAAWebCall for an invitation to join the call. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or S.A.A. as a whole. Within this constraint the structure and content of this folder can be changed at any time by a Group Conscience Meeting given two weeks' notice. Love and respect 2008-11-09 mailto:chris@chrisx.name
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