I feel like the prodigal son with regards to my recovery. First came to SAA in 1995. Compulsive masturbation, objectification of women, lies, pornography, inappropriate fantasy were the behaviors I wanted to change. Things got better (due to working the program), then I relapsed (stopped working program and became enveloped by my addiction). Came back sporadically (2010) and ultimately stayed in relapse. My addiction became more powerful and eventually took me to behaviors I would never have thought myself capable of (voyeurism, secretive filming, infidelity). I am once again back, realizing how powerless I am over my behaviors. The knowledge of this addiction lasting my lifetime is difficult, but made more acceptable by understanding the program, the fellowship, and the knowledge that God will ALWAYS be there for me.
