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A member's story
Outed by my wife
I was outed by my wife during a session with our marriage therapist in mid-October 2023. She discovered my 40-year secret the day before and blindsided me with it during couple’s therapy. She blurted out, “Are you a bisexual?” and the rest is history. She discovered my secret when she was looking through my office and found the private notes I take when meeting with my own therapist. The notes discussed my bisexuality and my history of acting out.
We have been married for 40 years. I am 63 (so is she). We have three adult children (ages 37, 35, & 33). We have four grandchildren (ages 5, 2, 2, & three months). I have known I was bisexual since I was a teenager. I acted out with men over the years but was able to keep it a secret and it never interfered with my sexual attraction to my wife. My feelings about this are all over the place. I’m feeling ashamed, guilty, and misunderstood, but I will not deny my bisexuality. I had never planned to come out to the world, but my wife changed that plan. Now what do I do? Who do I tell, who do I not tell? What will my adult children think of me? I am a mess right now. Will we separate? Divorce? Posted: 11/28/2023.
